Tunia: Why Do Men Act That Way?
My dearest brothers and sisters,
This is Tunia speaking. I feel so happy and honored that I continue to be able to share my thoughts with so many of you.
Today I will give my perspective on a question that Earth women sometimes ask, which is: “why do many men act so violently, so aggressively, in such a risk-taking and attention-seeking and overly sexual way? Why are so many men violent or sexually violent?”
Naturally, it is completely heartbreaking that so many people are assaulted every single day. And yes, most sexual violence is done by a man to a woman, unfortunately. Of course, this is not okay, especially when we consider just how much sexual violence there is in the world.
Conversely it is also true that many men are not behaving in destructive ways. In fact, lots of men are behaving in very positive ways.
In this message, I will share that my perspective is that a lot of men are in very much pain, and that is why some men act destructively.
Of course, a lot of women are also in a lot of pain and of course, society treats women absolutely terribly in all sorts of ways too. My heart breaks when I see the ways in which my Earth sisters are treated by society, and indeed sometimes by men.
I am not making a statement about which gender has it worse. I think Earth society treats everyone appallingly poorly, and everyone should come together to improve the situation for everyone. If men and women fight and play I-win-you-lose games or play who-is-the-bigger-victim games against each other, then everyone loses. However if men and women come together and cooperate, then everyone wins.
This ascension process needs both men and women who are in their power and are working for the common good.
Also, obviously men are not a hive mind. I am going to greatly generalize in this message, and what I say will not apply to everyone.
With that said, let us begin to answer the question: “why do men act this way.” This message will involve a discussion on people considering to end their lives, so if you do not wish to listen to that, I suggest that you skip this message.
Now, one critical thing to understand about Earth men in 2023 is that many of them feel that they are inherently worthless, or even that they are inherently a net negative on the world.
One part of that is the endless barrage of messages that men are the primary source of most problems in the world. Or at least, that’s what certain messages sound like to a lot of men. Some messages literally argue that the source of most problems are men. Then there are statements that can be misconstrued, such as someone saying: “patriarchy is the problem.” When that is said, most men just hear: “men are the problem”, even though a feminist scholar might argue that those statements are not the same thing.
If a man believes that men are the cause of most problems in the world, then he might very well conclude that his very existence is a net negative to the world. Often he then either becomes depressed and loses himself in video games, or becomes destructive. Maybe this is not entirely rational, but subconscious anxieties usually are not entirely rational.
Similarly, when the phrase “toxic masculinity” is mentioned, a lot of men hear: “masculinity is toxic.” Many would argue here that this is not what the phrase “toxic masculinity” means, but that is often what that phrase is being interpreted as. Admittedly more dialogue could clear up this misunderstanding. Still, to a lot of men, this is a distinction without a difference, because the lived experience of a lot of men is that they are treated as suspicious until proven innocent, and that masculinity is not welcome even if those forms of masculinity are healthy.
For example, schools absolutely do not welcome healthy masculinity in boys. Instead boys are being forced to obey, sit still for hours, study things they don’t want to and they are given punishment or drugs or social shaming if they behave in a masculine way.
The way school treats boys is absolutely crippling to a lot of boys, and distills in them a deep lived experience that masculinity is not welcome. This implicit message that their masculinity is not welcome, is given to boys in school over and over and over again, for years, during their most formative and impressionable time alive.
This is not some kind of wrong conclusion either that boys are drawing. Boys’s masculinity literally is not welcome in school. One essential part of masculinity is that most boys want to move and do things and explore and have freedom and follow their interests and passions. Boys are not at all allowed to be masculine in school.
Frankly, if someone tried to take my son away to an Earth-style school back when my son was young, I would have resisted that with every ounce of strength in my body. They would have had to throw me in prison or kill me, to stop me from trying to get my boy out of school before they could break him.
Or if I had the option to move to another country so that I could legally homeschool my son, I would have done so. I am being 100% serious. School is that damaging and emotionally crippling to a lot of boys.
Yes, some boys genuinely do fine in school. However even in boys who are seemingly fine, a lot of subconscious damage is being done to them. It is no coincidence, after all, that so many men are emotionally tapped out and are numbing their feelings with food, alcohol, video games or porn. A huge part of that is the damage that was inflicted on them by school.
Obviously, I’m not against education. I’m just against education in the way it is commonly set up on Earth. Girls also don’t always have a good time in school, but the Earth school system is less damaging to girls than to boys.
So, school is one huge way in which boys learn that their masculinity is not welcome, and hence in a sense, their very existence is not welcome.
Unfortunately, there are yet more things that cause men to feel that they are inherently worthless or even inherently a net negative on the world.
There is the endless barrage of messages that people in general are the problem. People are told that they are causing species extinction, soil erosion, climate change, et cetera. And lots of men inherently are wired to take responsibility and take action and fix problems, but in such an individualistic world, no one man can hope to stop soil erosion all by himself. So in practice, this feeling of responsibility coupled with a feeling of powerlessness often leads to subconscious guilt and to a subconscious malaise and possibly even self-hate.
Furthermore some people are being shamed for what their grandparents did. Again lots of men are wired to take responsibility and take action and fix problems, but in this individualistic world, no one man can fix the issue that a certain country colonized another country in the past. No one man can undo the evils of slavery. Again, this just leads to men feeling powerless, detached, helpless and sometimes they begin to loathe themselves.
This is breaking my heart to communicate, because I love men so very much. I think men are amazing. But still, let’s proceed with the message.
Yet another thing that undermines the feeling of men that their very existence on this planet has any value whatsoever, are the messages that say that even if men make it, they are still bad or worthless people. If a man starts a new business and that business eventually pays wages to and feeds a thousand families, then in a lot of circles this man is seen as an evil capitalist, or as someone who exploits people for their labor, or as automatically evil because he is rich, or as someone who is not diverse enough.
It also does not help here that it is becoming more and more difficult to have a decent life if you are an average worker, at least in the West. Men often feel guilty if they cannot provide the life for their families that men think they should.
Men also subconsciously feel that they don’t have any value as a loving father and devoted husband, because the media continually portrays fathers as incompetent, dumb, unattractive, unable to tie their own shoelaces without help, et cetera. And yes, of course lots of people do actually appreciate fathers, but media messaging has still given lots of men the subconscious idea that even if they are loving fathers and husbands, that they’re still losers. Then they’re still Homer Simpson.
We all understand that media messaging matters, right? If any group is consistently depicted negatively in television, then most people understand and agree that this is problematic and that this is creating negative stereotypes and possible self-hatred in that group. Well, fathers are being consistently depicted negatively on television and in movies.
So basically, lots of men feel that they are worthless, or even that their very existence on Earth is a negative. And men feel that even if they succeed at the traditional paths for men to prove their value as a person – being a father or being a successful worker – even then men subconsciously feel they still do not have any value as a person, and they might as well not even exist.
If you feel that you are inherently worthless and that there is no real path towards you having any value as a person – why would you not start behaving in a destructive manner? What is there to lose?
Unfortunately, I am not done yet. On top of all of this, men are also treated by society as if they have less inherent worth than say women. Yes, rich and famous and beautiful men are treated very well by society indeed, but the lived experience of the average guy is that they are treated as if they have less worth than women.
For example, there is a ton of money being spent on breast cancer research, and very little money being spent on prostate cancer research. This seems to at least partially undermine the narrative that average men are privileged. Also, sometimes it is implied that because most rich people are men, surely men must be rigging society to benefit men. But if so, why is society spending much more money on breast cancer research than on prostate cancer research?
In America more women than men go to university, and yet still there are far more women-only scholarships than men-only scholarships.
When men become aware of this, they either conclude that society is rigged against them, or they conclude that apparently women are apparently just inherently more valuable than them.
What else are they supposed to conclude? And yes, sure there are some misogynist men out there, but that doesn’t make this fair.
This is also one part of why men tend to be less left-wing and less collectivist. If collectivism means that there are far more women-only scholarships than male-only scholarships, even though there are already more women at university, then understandably, collectivism becomes less appealing to men.
Yes, lip service is being given to the idea of also helping men who are struggling. However it usually doesn’t get any further than lip service. If women struggle or there is unfairness against women in society, then actual change is made, and furthermore women expect men to support them in this and indeed a number of men do.
Whereas if men struggle, then lip service is being given to the idea of helping men, but little to no actual change is made. While women expect men to help if they struggle, which is indeed as it should be, few women help men with their struggles beyond lip service.
Let’s take an example. It is commonly known that the vast majority of workplace deaths are of men, and no one really seems to care about that. No one is really doing anything to change that.
Now imagine if the vast majority of workplace deaths were women. Suddenly lots of people would be out on the streets protesting. Women would want men to speak out on their behalf. Every big corporation would instantly pledge to improve the safety of their female workers. Politicians would immediately start writing legislation to protect women in the workplace. Average people would include some text or sign on online platforms that said that they supported women’s workplace safety. Anyone who said that protecting women in the workplace wasn’t a big deal, would be called a misogynist and deplatformed.
But because it’s men who are dying and not women, no one really cares.
What are men supposed to conclude from this, other than that their lives are apparently not as valuable as women’s lives?
Yes, rich and famous and handsome men have an incredible amount of privilege and are treated very well indeed by society – far better than most women are. But this is not the experience of the average guy. It doesn’t help the average guy that most rich people are men, as we saw with the example that prostate cancer research is funded far less than breast cancer research.
I am not saying that unfairness against women does not exist. Of course it does. There is a ton of that, in fact. But there is plenty of unfairness against men too.
Or take another example, one that I personally consider to be quite heartbreaking. In his mid-twenties, the channeler was working as a mailman. He was delivering mail to people and it was about 35 degrees Celsius outside, or about 95 degrees Fahrenheit. A woman handed him a glass of water, and this experience shocked the channeler to his very core. To this day, that image is burned into his memory and he can still clearly picture the situation in his mind’s eye.
Why was this situation so shocking to the channeler?
Quite simply, up to that point only friends and family and teachers and people who wanted something from him, ever did something for him. Basically, the channeler’s lived experiences were that strangers did not care about him at all and would not even lift a finger to help him. The concept of a stranger doing something nice for him, without there being anything in it for the stranger, was absolutely shocking to the channeler.
This is pretty much the experience of your average, non-rich, non-handsome guy. Few to no strangers ever lift a finger to help you.
And no, the channeler did not have an awful body odor and is not disfigured or anything like that. In those days, he just came across as your average guy.
This is also illustrated by how men and how women approach the act of ending their own life. Obviously I’m generalizing here, but in general women are more likely than men to do so in a way in which they can be found or saved, because women know that within reason, strangers are willing to help them. Indeed, women are right – within reason, strangers are willing to help them.
Whereas men know, correctly, that few to no strangers are going to lift a finger to help them. And hence if they decide to end their own life, much more often they do so in a way that guarantees that their life ends. It’s far less common for men to end their life in a way that’s survivable and that could be seen as a cry for help.
Even if a man’s family and friends do genuinely care about him, often their so-called “solution” is just to tell him to man up and get back to work.
One more factor that leads to men feeling awful about themselves is that society tells them that they are losers if they do not have lots of sex and/or have a girlfriend. Yet most young men in 2023 are not able to find either. And yes, of course men can work on themselves and become more attractive and better people. However, it is equally true that society probably should not shame young men if they are unable to have regular sex or find a girlfriend. By shaming men like this, men actually become more focused on this than they naturally already are.
One part of why some men are aggressive against women is that a number of men are actually terrified of women, on such a deep level that they are not aware of it. After all, some men’s self-image depends on what women think of them, and whether women want to be with them or not. And some men fear feminine power. Indeed feminine power is awesome, but of course, men benefit if good-hearted actualized women are in their power. Similarly, women benefit if good-hearted actualized men are in their power.
So, let’s get back to the question we asked at the beginning: why do men act so violently, so aggressively, in such a risk-taking and attention-seeking and overly sexual way?
Well, as I’ve I’ve argued for most of this message: a large part of that is because they feel inherently worthless or even less than worthless, namely that their very existence is a net negative.
The message that society is sending your average man is something like this: “Your very existence is a net negative. Your masculinity is not welcome and we expect you to suppress that. If you work really hard, you might be able to prove your worth as a person, but at that point you either become Homer Simpson or an evil capitalist. If you start a business, government has proven that it can tell you to shut it down for a year, which may very well kill your life’s work. Tough luck.
In some ways, the system is slightly rigged against men specifically. If you fail or even die, few people care or help you. In fact, if you fail to reach a high-status position, then that means that there are more opportunities for women to get into high positions and that would make things more diverse.”
So, is it really surprising that some men behave in aggressive or inappropriately sexual or in unreasonably risk-taking ways, or that many of them are addicted to alcohol or drugs or porn or video games?
Of course, just because men suffer, does not mean that they have the right to hurt others. They do not. However, I do understand those men who hurt others, even while I wish they didn’t.
To be blunt, when I look at men, I am surprised that more of them are not out there robbing and assaulting and murdering people. While yes, obviously every assault is one too many, Earth men are actually behaving better than I would expect them to, given the circumstances. The vast majority of men really are just wired to be responsible and dutiful and protective towards the people around them.
Or perhaps the more cynical interpretation is that men who feel awful about themselves are more likely to lose themselves in alcohol drugs and video games and porn in 2023 than they are to start murdering other people.
This is heavy stuff. Fortunately, we are finished with the saddest and heaviest part of this message.
Before we continue, I would like to invite you to take three deep breaths.
One. In… and out.
Two. In… and out.
Three. In… and out.
There is a second reason that I have not yet talked about. That is that historically, most women reproduced and most women didn’t reproduce.
This happened because the most successful men had children with lots of women, while men who were not at the top had children with no one. Meanwhile women could pretty reliably reproduce simply by making themselves available to the most successful men. Of course this involved lots of repression and keeping-women-down and violence and even sexual violence against women. Of course I am not saying that past structures were women-friendly. They very much were not, and I would not want to live in such structures. Still, most women reproduced and most men did not.
You can verify this for yourself with some online searching. One headline says “8000 years ago, 17 women reproduced for every one man.” Another source says that 80% of women had children while only 40% of men had children.
None of these sources are 100% accurate, and also it depends very much on the specific time and place we talk about. But in general, this principle is true. In the past, before many societies started enforcing monogamy, a few super successful men had a ton of wives and sometimes literally hundreds of children. Meanwhile men not at the top simply did not reproduce.
Meanwhile the average woman absolutely may have been kept down, but she could reproduce simply by playing it safe and making herself available to the most successful men – or she reproduced simply because powerful men claimed her. Which of course is not a good thing, but from a reproduction standpoint, this still leads to having children.
For women, from a reproductive standpoint, playing it safe led to a large probability of reproductive success. Meanwhile, there was not that much upside to taking huge risks. Even the most reproductively successful woman will only have somewhere around 15 pregnancies. Earth women simply cannot have the hundreds of children that men can.
So let’s put this in a modern context. Suppose that you are an employee of the corporation called “being a man.” This corporation is going to fire the vast majority of its employees, but this corporation is going to reward its top performers incredibly well. So, of course people employed here would start taking huge risks, they would start trying to stand out and would heavily and openly compete against each other. Fights may even break out. And indeed, this is what we see men do.
Now suppose you are an employee of the corporation called “being a woman.” In this corporation, if you just perform normally and don’t get into fights with your colleagues and don’t take any big risks or cause trouble, you will very likely make it – you will reproduce. Furthermore, if you do take a huge risk and it pays off, then you will not be rewarded that much more than other people who do not take risks. So of course, most people employed here do not take huge risks, do not heavily compete against each other in the open, do not physically fight each other, et cetera. And indeed, this is what we see women do.
So for men, the default is that they do not reproduce and their line goes extinct. Hence they take risks, they compete in the open, they fight, they can be very overtly sexual, et cetera. Men feel like they have to take chances and compete and get ahead, or they’ll die alone. And this leads to certain negative behaviors, but it can also lead to some men becoming true experts in their field and contributing a lot to society, for example. I’m not saying that women can’t be experts, but there are fewer women than men that dedicate their entire life to a single career or a single topic of study.
This is also one thing that leads to the pay gap. A man feels that they have to excel, and they know that if they do a bit of this and a bit of that, no one cares. So more men than women hugely focus on one area and become so good at it that people have to take notice and have to pay them well for their true excellence in that field.
Meanwhile women tend to lead somewhat more balanced lives and are a bit more all-round and explore more topics, which society doesn’t reward as much monetarily. This is because it’s not reproductively essential for women to truly excel at one career path or field of study. And frankly, being more well-rounded is more fun and healthy for most people.
So, hopefully this message makes it a bit clearer why men sometimes act the way that men stereotypically do. The first reason is that they feel that their very existence is either worthless or even a net negative, and this pushes some men to engage in risk-taking or destructive behavior. The second is that from a reproductive standpoint, men are pushed to take chances and compete and excel while women are not, and again sometimes this leads to destructive behavior.
And finally there is of course a cultural element. In Pleiadian society, there is zero shame around female sexuality, and our women face zero risk of being assaulted by our men. Hence contrary to Earth, slightly more Pleiadian women than Pleiadian men choose to express themselves in an overtly sexual or nude way. Similarly, our culture also encourages Pleiadian men to express themselves a bit differently than Earth culture encourages Earth men to express themselves.
I wish to repeat that yes, I acknowledge that women have it bad too. Women are treated poorly by society and by certain men too, in all sorts of ways. Yes, way too many men sexually assault women, and even though men can be victims here too, usually it’s men sexually assaulting women. All of this is true.
I am not saying that either gender has it better or worse than the other. What I would like is for men and women to come together and work together on a better world for all. Men benefit when women are empowered in a positive way, and women benefit when men are empowered in a positive way.
I have also been massively generalizing in this entire message. What I have written obviously does not apply to every single man or to every single woman.
I am curious about your thoughts and your lived experiences. Feel free to share them in the comments, no matter what gender you are.
Finally, to end on a positive note: yes, many men feel worthless. However the good news is that you can make a massive positive difference in the lives of the men around you, simply by telling them that you care about them, that they matter to you, that you think their lives are a net positive and telling them which things you appreciate about them.
Men are sometimes so starved of love that they remember compliments for decades. So if you want to make a man’s decade, give him a compliment.
I love you all so very much. I think that everyone, men and women, are actually doing amazingly well given the amount of darkness on your planet. You have all my love and respect for keeping a good heart and keeping an inner light in this darkness.
For Era of Light
**These channelings are exclusively submitted to EraofLight.com by the channeler. If you wish to share them elsewhere, please include a link back to this original post.